


Fire

by OzQueen



Series: babysitters100 [64]
Category: Baby-Sitters Club - Ann M. Martin
Genre: F/M, Family, Family Fluff, First Kiss, Fluff, Holding Hands, Relationship(s), Summer Vacation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-27
Updated: 2016-04-27
Packaged: 2018-06-04 20:33:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6674551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OzQueen/pseuds/OzQueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In an effort to distract herself from a broken heart, Mary Anne accepts Kristy's invitation to the Thomas-Brewer cabin at Shadow Lake for a family vacation. </p><p>But it doesn't take long before she finds herself struggling to stay within the boundaries of her own rule:</p><p>It is not okay to rebound with Charlie Thomas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fire

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to ride the sudden wave of enthusiasm for Charlie/Mary Anne fic and post this, which has been lingering in an "almost finished" state on my hard drive for about a year. 
> 
> In this fic I shamelessly attend to my ridiculous desires for hand kink with a gratuitous palm-reading scene, because of course? (No regrets.)  
> Also, shout out to the Thomas-Brewers for being so easily adorable in canon with their fondue games and lovable chaos.
> 
> Huge thanks to isquinnabel for helping me polish it up and get it finished, you are a champion ♥

* * *

 

It was late in the summer, and the leaves were already starting to turn. The morning sun was warm, but when the wind blew it came with a chill that raised goosebumps on Mary Anne's arms. She pulled her sweatshirt on and gazed up at the cabin in front of her.

"It looks a lot bigger than the old one," she said.

"It's not really," Kristy said, but she sounded unsure. "More bedrooms but fewer beds, if you can work that out, and the main living room is smaller than the other cabin was. But this one is a lot nicer, and you don't get as many boats on this side of the lake because the water isn't as deep, so it's quiet." She gave her ponytail a quick tug. "Well, quiet until we show up, at least." She hauled her duffel bag off the backseat. "We'll have to share a bed, but we'll have our own room. It'll probably be next door to Karen and Emily Michelle, and they're both chronic gigglers…"

Mary Anne took her own duffel bag from the backseat and followed Kristy up the porch steps. She could hear splashing and laughter from the direction of the lake and, judging by the amount of cars parked around the cabin, the rest of the Thomas-Brewers were already there.

“We’re here!” Kristy shouted, dropping her bag to the floor with a thud.

“And using your vacation voice to its full potential,” Watson said. He'd come to greet them at the door, and he wrapped his arms around Kristy and squeezed her. “I was beginning to wonder where you were.”

“We’re right on time!” Kristy said defensively. "I'm never late." She squeezed him back and kissed his cheek. “Where is everyone?”

Watson motioned to the back of the cabin, where the water glimmered at them through wide windows. “David Michael and Andrew are breaking through the layer of ice on top of the lake.”

“It’s not that cold,” Kristy retorted.

Watson laughed and held his arms open to Mary Anne. She hugged him shyly.

"It's good to see you again, Mary Anne," he said, letting her go.

She smiled, sure her face was red. "Thanks, Watson. It's nice to see you too. Thanks for letting me join you all…"

He waved her thanks away. "Plenty of room," he said jovially. "Everyone's on the back porch, and I was about to get lunch started."

"Do you need a hand?" Kristy asked.

"No, go on." He waved them through the living room.

Mary Anne glanced around as she followed Kristy through the cabin, noting the wide windows and the clusters of plump armchairs and couches around the giant fireplace. Kristy shouted back at Watson over her shoulder. "Don't touch those bags! We'll put them away later!"

Elizabeth, Charlie, Sam and Sam's girlfriend were all on the back porch, lounging in chairs with sun-faded cushions, all of them with wind-blown hair and bare feet.

"You could curl up on the end of our bed," Sam was saying. "Like a dog."

"You're about this close to getting your ass kicked," Charlie said, holding his finger and thumb an inch apart.

Sam grinned at him, and then Kristy caught his attention. "Oh, you're here," he said, adding a purposeful tone of distaste to his voice.

Kristy rubbed her knuckles against the top of his head and he swore and ducked.

"Hey, Mary Anne." Charlie tipped his head back to smile at her, and she smiled back and fluttered her fingers at him.

"Hey, Allie," Kristy said. "Have you met Mary Anne?"

"No, hi!" Sam's girlfriend leaned forward to shake Mary Anne's hand. "I've heard a lot about you. It's nice to finally meet you."

She had a southern accent. It didn't matter how many years had passed, or how many other people she'd met with that same drawl, Mary Anne always thought of Logan. "Hi," she said in response, smiling back at Allie. "It's nice to meet you too."

Allie grinned and leaned back to settle under the weight of Sam's arm again.

"So, Kristy, we've got bad news," Sam said.

Charlie laughed and shaded his eyes from the sun, looking up at Kristy. "Yeah, you have to sleep in the car. Sorry."

Elizabeth pulled out the chair next to her and motioned Mary Anne to sit. "It's good to see you, honey," she said warmly. "How are you?"

Mary Anne wasn't sure how she knew, but she was suddenly sure that Kristy had told her mother the reason behind Mary Anne's visit. "I'm fine," she said, smiling at Elizabeth. "Thanks for letting me join you."

"Oh, sure." Elizabeth smiled. "You're part of the family, after all."

"We're a bed short," Sam announced. "So you're out."

Kristy scoffed. "I don't think so."

"It's my fault, really," Allie said. "If I weren't here, these boys would be sharing." She motioned between Sam and Charlie.

"You're a prettier bedmate than he is," Sam said.

"Sam," Charlie said, sounding offended. "I'm right here."

"I can take the couch if you really want him," Allie said.

"Nope," Sam cut in quickly.

Charlie laughed and raked his hand through his hair. "Nah, it's fine. If it's a choice between the couch, Sam, or squeezing in with David Michael and Andrew, I'll take the couch."

Kristy slung herself into the chair beside Mary Anne and kicked her tennis shoes off. "You're a trooper, Chuck," she said.

"Oh, hell." Charlie rubbed his hands over his face, and Sam and Kristy laughed.

* * *

 

"Shannon! Shannon, heel! Wait — David Michael, dry her off before you let her inside!"

Shannon ran through the house, trailing lake water and swinging her tail as she nosed at bare feet and licked ankles.

"Hey girl!" Kristy exclaimed, dropping to her knees and rubbing Shannon's ears. "Did you go for a swim, huh?"

"Here." Charlie threw a towel over Kristy's head. "Dry her off."

"You're such a good girl!" Kristy said, pulling the towel off her head and making faces at Shannon, who was wriggling with delight at the attention. "But you smell like wet dog, yes you do, yes you do…"

Mary Anne found herself caught in the traffic coming in and out of the kitchen. "Do you need a hand with dinner?" she asked Watson.

"Oh, thank you, but I don't think so, my dear." Watson wiped his hands on his apron distractedly. "Edie, where's the corkscrew?"

"C'mon," Charlie said, steering Mary Anne gently away from the chaos. "Too many cooks."

"That's my towel!" Emily Michelle complained. "Gross, Kristy!"

David Michael ducked around her. "I'm starving, is it ready yet?"

"Everybody out!" Elizabeth clapped her hands and waved them towards the back door.

"It's only the first night and Mom's already clapping at us," David Michael muttered to Charlie.

Charlie grinned and pulled the sliding door open, one hand still against Mary Anne's back. "She hasn't whistled yet," he said. "We're doing fine."

The sun was setting over the lake, shafts of golden light spilling through the pine and hickory trees. Allie and Sam were down at the water's edge, and Karen was busy spraying herself with mosquito repellent. The smell of it reminded Mary Anne of Dawn ( _"You know, mosquito repellent also repels fireflies"_ ), and she found herself suddenly wondering if she should have accepted her invitation to California instead.

Her doubt didn't last long — the Thomas-Brewers were loud and chaotic, but she had never been uneasy around them. The handful of times Mary Anne had been exposed to Dawn's friends were mostly uncomfortable memories; a pace she couldn't meet and a network she couldn't fit into. The Thomases had never minded Mary Anne finding her own quiet corner and simply observing what happened around her, but Dawn and her friends took it as some kind of an insult if she didn't want to join in with absolutely everything they did.

"You okay?" Charlie asked.

Mary Anne looked at him, suddenly alarmed at being noticed. "Just daydreaming," she said, blushing.

Charlie grinned and pulled a chair out for her. "So," he said, sitting beside her, "I haven't —"

"Shit," Kristy cursed, stumbling as Shannon bowled past her, racing for the lake. "Oh, shit, Sam!" she shouted. "Sam, don't let her back in the water!"

"What?" Sam shouted back.

Shannon bounded past him and into the lake with a splash.

"Forget it," Kristy muttered. She handed Mary Anne a bottle of hard cider and passed a beer to Charlie.

"Where's mine?" Karen asked indignantly.

"Hm," Charlie said, "I thought you still had four years to go before you could drink?"

"Technically, legally, yes," Karen said airily. "And when that day comes, I'll drink you under the table."

Charlie twisted the cap off his beer. "You're all talk."

"Seriously," Karen said, folding her arms and raising her eyebrows. "Train up, because it's coming."

"I'm training as hard as I can," he said, raising his beer to her.

* * *

 

Dinner was a thrown together affair of cold cuts and salads. Plates were carried back and forth between the back porch and the kitchen. The stars came out, mosquitoes were slapped and cursed, sweatshirts pulled on. The candles on the table burned lower and lower.

Mary Anne was feeling tired, and found herself thinking longingly of the bed waiting for her upstairs. She looked across the table at Sam and Allie, who had their heads together, talking softly and smiling. The candlelight shone on Allie's blonde hair, and when she laughed she always tipped her head back. Sam watched her with complete adoration.

"Are you two talking about work again?" Kristy asked, pointing her beer at Sam accusingly.

"Oh, sorry," Allie said, smiling. She sat up straight, separating herself from Sam. "I know it's boring to everyone else."

"Allie works with Sam," Kristy explained to Mary Anne. "But she's like, way brainier than he is. She's doing a PhD in engineering or something."

"Or something," Sam agreed.

"I'm getting eaten alive," Karen announced, pushing her chair back. "Emily Michelle and I are going to play Monopoly if anyone wants to join us."

"Hell no," Charlie muttered against the rim of his beer bottle.

"No Monopoly tantrums!" Watson called after her.

"Hey, don't you want s'mores?" Kristy asked, twisting in her chair.

"Seriously, eaten alive," Karen said. "I can't stay out here. I'll eat s'mores tomorrow."

Sam scoffed. "Like there'll be any marshmallows left by tomorrow night."

"You're still going to light the fire?" Elizabeth asked sleepily. "Why don't you wait until tomorrow?"

"We can light another one and do it all again," Sam said, heaving himself out of his chair and motioning for Charlie to follow him. "Excess is expected on vacation, Mom."

"You can't argue with that," Watson said.

* * *

 

The fire was stacked down by the dark water of the lake, sparks cracking and leaping from the dry wood. Mary Anne sat wrapped in a blanket, her toes digging into the packed sand.

Charlie tore a bag of marshmallows open and passed them around. "S'mores?"

"Maybe one," Mary Anne said with a smile.

"You can't stop at one," Sam said, threading three marshmallows onto his skewer.

"It needs to burn lower," Kristy complained. "I want some toasting coals over here."

"Just light it on fire, Kristy, it's all the same," Charlie said, drawing his toasting fork back to display a marshmallow caught in flames.

"You're such a lazy cook," Kristy accused.

Charlie laughed. "Not sure it matters when it comes to s'mores."

"There's a difference," Kristy insisted. "Right, Mary Anne?"

"Mmhm," Mary Anne agreed, the combination of alcohol and the warmth from the fire making her sleepy.

Charlie squeezed his graham cracker squares together until the marshmallow was oozing out around the edges. "Sounds like you're ready for bed, Mary Anne." His voice was quiet, and he grinned at her.

She smiled back at him. "Long day."

"You came up from New York today, right?"

She nodded. "But I had to finish some work this morning, so I got up really early, and it was kind of frantic…" She blinked at the fire tiredly.

"Yeah." He handed her the s'more he'd just made and skewered another marshmallow to toast. "Some sugar will perk you up."

"Don't eat his shitty scorched s'mores," Kristy said, stubbornly rotating her marshmallow over the coals at the edge of the fire. "Slow roast is better."

"Are you still on your first one?" Sam asked incredulously. "This is my third."

"We don't all eat like a garbage disposal," Kristy said.

Allie laughed and poked him.

"Hey," Sam said, looking insulted. "You're supposed to be on my side."

"I'm easily won over," Allie said, reaching out to brush the end of his nose with her fingertip. "You can win me back."

He grinned at her, and Kristy made a low groan of disgust. "Get a room."

"Later," Sam said. "It's right across from yours."

Kristy flicked her marshmallow at him.

* * *

 

"Do you want to talk about Brendan?"

Mary Anne blinked up at the ceiling. "Um…"

"It's okay if you don't," Kristy added hastily. "I just thought maybe you were lying there thinking about it and wanting to talk, so I thought I'd ask."

"No, it's okay," Mary Anne said. "I'm fine."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Kristy sighed and wriggled around. Through the wall, another eruption of giggling came from Karen and Emily Michelle.

"Do you think we ever giggled that much?" Kristy asked.

"Absolutely." Mary Anne stifled a yawn. "More, when Dawn and Claudia and Stacey were with us."

"I guess." Kristy gave a happy sigh. "We did have some pretty great sleepovers."

Mary Anne smiled into the dark. "We still do."

Kristy laughed and reached for her hand. "Yeah."

Mary Anne rolled over to face her. "Thanks for inviting me."

"That's okay."

"I'd be a mess if I had to be by myself right now."

"I know." Kristy squeezed her hand. "He's a jerk. You deserve better."

"Yeah." Mary Anne drew a quivery breath and closed her eyes. "It's nice to be so busy, though."

"Mm," Kristy said tiredly. "I thought you could use the distraction. And, you know, I don't want you doing what Stacey does, and calling him tomorrow to try and get back together."

"I'm not planning on doing that."

"All of her breakups take at least three months each."

"I don't want him back."

"Good." Kristy paused. "And if he tries to call you, hang up on him. Like, straight away. Don't let him get his foot in the door. Literally nothing he can say is good enough, and —"

"Kristy," Mary Anne murmured tiredly.

"Okay, I know. Sorry." She was restless, shifting around and rustling the bedsheets. "Charlie went through a really bad break up last year, too."

"He did?"

"I hate seeing good people treated so badly," Kristy muttered. "Maybe Brendan and Caroline should pair up..." Her eyes were closed and there was a frown on her face.

Mary Anne hesitated. "What happened?"

"Honestly, I don't really know. Karen thinks he got cheated on but I don't know how she found out. Charlie would never talk about it. But it was bad. He was really, um… Like, Sam flew out to California to see him for a few days. That kind of bad. He wasn't himself. He was with Caroline for like three years and he took it really hard when they split."

Mary Anne stared up at the ceiling, not saying anything. As hard as breaking up with Brendan was, she knew it was the right thing to do. In a way, his actions had made everything much cleaner; more black and white than gray. "It hurts," she said softly. "If someone does that to you, it makes you think a lot about why you're not good enough."

Kristy flung and arm over her and gave her a fierce hug. "You are _so_ much better than he deserves," she said through gritted teeth. "I love you."

Mary Anne laughed and shrugged herself down a little so she could nestle in under Kristy's chin. "I know. I love you too. I'm all right."

Kristy kissed the top of her head and Mary Anne put her arm over her waist and closed her eyes. Kristy had a habit of trying to fight people's battles for them, even when the battles were already won or lost. She didn't say this, though — just hugged her back and kept her eyes closed, listening to the giggling and murmuring in the rooms around her until she fell asleep.

* * *

 

"Here you go, honey," Elizabeth said, tipping more scrambled eggs onto Mary Anne's plate.

"Oh," Mary Anne said in surprise. "Thank you…"

"Seriously though, how many pigs do you think this family is directly responsible for?" Sam asked, brandishing a rasher of bacon at Karen. "This week alone it's probably like, eight or nine little piggies."

She grimaced. "Get that out of my face, Sam."

He held his finger against the end of his nose and pushed it up. "Oink oink."

"Use your big words, Sammy." Charlie fell into the seat beside Mary Anne.

"How would you keep up?" Sam grinned at him and bit the end off the bacon in his fingers. "How was the couch?"

"Heavenly. Slept like a baby."

Mary Anne gave him a shy smile. She tried not to wonder about his own breakup, and whether or not it was true he had been cheated on as well. She found it hard to believe anyone would want to cheat on Charlie; she couldn't think of anyone who didn't like him.

She shifted her scrambled eggs around with her fork, trying to convince herself she was enough as well, and that it was Brendan's fault everything had fallen apart, not her own.

"Dad, I'm stuck!" Andrew announced from the end of the table, providing a welcome distraction. The newspaper was spread in front of him.

"If you can't get it, we're not going to," Kristy said around a mouthful of toast.

Watson gave her a smile and leaned around Emily Michelle to talk to Andrew. "Let's hear it."

"It's six letters, and it's 'Man is one? Yes and no.' I can't get it."

"Are you doing the cryptic crossword?" Allie asked. "I could never understand those."

"Fill in this one and it'll give you more clues," David Michael said, pressing his finger against the newspaper.

"You got bacon grease on it!" Andrew complained. "And I want to do them in order."

"Asking for help is worse than doing them out of order," Karen said.

Elizabeth leaned over Andrew's shoulder. "I used to be so good at these."

"Island," Mary Anne said.

Andrew blinked at her. "Island?"

Mary Anne felt her face turning red as everyone turned to look at her. "I think," she added hastily, suddenly uncertain. "Like the Isle of Man?"

"I still don't get it," Andrew said with a frown.

"Um, well, Isle of Man. And, um, John Donne wrote a poem. I mean, he was an English poet." Mary Anne's face was burning. "No man is an island, entire of itself."

Andrew murmured the clue to himself again and tilted his head. "Ohhh," he said. "Thanks!"

"Why does a local paper in Massachusetts have such British clues?" David Michael complained.

"Bravo, Mary Anne." Watson patted her shoulder on his way back to the kitchen. "Who wants more eggs? Coffee?"

"Coffee!" Karen requested.

"Can we limit her to one cup a day? Because God help us all," Sam said.

"Nice work!" Kristy nudged Mary Anne.

She smiled shyly. "Thanks. I used to do cryptic crosswords with Dad."

"You went super red in the face though," Kristy added with a grin.

Mary Anne's face felt hot again.

"You're helping a lot, Kristy," Charlie said, chin in his hand. "Pass the juice, please."

"Did you want to walk into town today?" Kristy asked Mary Anne. "I think it's meant to rain for the next few days, so we might not get another chance."

"Okay," Mary Anne agreed.

"You can see all of Shadow Lake in about five minutes," Charlie said, pouring himself a glass of juice.

"Has it changed much?"

"Not really," Kristy said with a shrug. "They have photos up in the lodge of all the parades and the boat shows. There are still photos of the BSC there!"

"Really?" Mary Anne asked in surprise.

"You cuties," Charlie said.

"What's the BSC?" Allie asked.

"Don't!" Sam blurted, cupping a hand over Allie's mouth.

She shrugged him away and looked at Kristy with a smile. "No, tell me!"

Sam pointed at Kristy. "You have ten words and no more."

"Shut up, Sam," Kristy said. She drew a breath, her eyes sparkling.

Sam dropped his head to the table with a groan.

Charlie held up the jug of juice wordlessly, and Mary Anne slid her glass towards him. The walk into town had been delayed; Kristy was off and running.

* * *

 

Mary Anne stood under the spray of the shower, eyes closed. She felt a little stupid for showering in the middle of the afternoon, but with so many people battling for the bathroom it was a matter of convenience. Not to mention her nerves were starting to feel frayed.

She loved the Thomas-Brewers like her own family, but they were loud, and demanding of attention. There were very few quiet moments — the room was always full of conversation, laughter, jokes, stories. They were a _touching_ family — their affection was very physical. Arms draped themselves around shoulders, hands touched, laughter was followed by a nudge or a clap on the back. The shower was a temporary shelter from all the noise and activity, and the only place she allowed herself to cry over Brendan. She found herself obsessing over small details that might have changed the entire course of their relationship.

She wiped the fog off the mirror and looked at her reflection. Sometimes she wished she was a different person — prettier, more outgoing, witty. She wished she was someone who was captivating, someone who had another's entire heart and mind right from the beginning. But she thought the ugly truth was that she simply wasn't special or outstanding in any way at all.

She drew a deep breath and turned away from the mirror to towel her hair dry.

When she joined everyone downstairs again, she was fresh-faced and ready to smile. Most of the family had gathered on the deck, watching the sun slowly sinking towards the horizon, the light reflecting off the choppy blue water of the lake. Elizabeth, Watson, Andrew and David Michael were gathered around a Scrabble board.

Charlie was sitting to the side, watching them, and he pulled out the chair beside his own as Mary Anne approached. Mary Anne smiled and sat beside him.

"How was the trip to town?" he asked, smiling back at her.

"Um…" Mary Anne tried to think of a way to phrase it diplomatically. "We didn't stay long, but it was fun to see all the old photos up in the lodge."

"It hasn't changed much, huh?"

"No. We went past the old cabin. It was empty."

"Yeah, I think it's changed hands a couple of times since Watson sold it." Charlie ruffled his hand through his hair. "I know the old cabin had a lot of nostalgia for him, spending his childhood summers there and everything, but I gotta admit — this one is a lot more comfortable." He arched his back against the chair. "At least, it probably is when you get a proper bed."

"Throw your back out, old man?" Sam clapped his hand hard against Charlie's shoulder on the way past.

"Ow!" Charlie swatted at him.

"Sam!" Allie admonished. "Here, Charlie." She offered him the bowl of pretzels she was carrying, which he accepted.

"Hey!" Sam complained. "Those were mine!" He grabbed her hand and pulled her into his lap. She curled into him with a laugh, kissing his cheek.

"You two are sickening," Charlie said. He grabbed a handful of pretzels from the bowl and passed it to Mary Anne.

Kristy appeared in jeans and an old SHS sweatshirt, her hair wet and her teeth chattering. "Hey," she said, grabbing a seat at the end of the table.

"Have you been in the lake?" Mary Anne asked in disbelief.

"Yeah."

"Isn't the water cold?"

"Yeah." Kristy grinned and shivered, and reached for a handful of pretzels as Mary Anne held the bowl towards her. "Hey Mom, what are we doing for dinner?"

"I thought the boys were grilling tonight," Elizabeth said vaguely, contemplating the tiles on the Scrabble board. "Sam?"

"Watson, did you make the sauce?" Sam asked. His fingers were laced with Allie's and she had her head on his shoulder. Mary Anne couldn't help but feel a little bit envious of their open affection.

"You mean my special gourmet barbecue sauce with the secret ingredient you'll never, ever guess, ever?" Watson asked, watching Elizabeth with a smile as she contemplated her next word choice. "That sauce, Sam?"

"Yeah, that sauce," Sam sighed.

"It's in a jar in the refrigerator."

"Then I guess we're grilling," Sam said, glancing at Charlie with a grin.

* * *

 

Mary Anne sat with Allie, well out of the way of Kristy and Karen, who were both trying to set the table and organize salads for the barbecue.

"So what do you do, Mary Anne?" Allie asked. She was lounging sideways in her chair, long tanned legs bare and her blonde hair falling in loose waves over her shoulders.

"Um, well the plan was, um, editing," Mary Anne said, feeling the familiar crawl of warmth into her face, which appeared whenever she had to start talking about herself. "And I do, I guess, here and there. Part time. But I freelance for some magazines, too. Writing, I mean. I get pretty steady work from some places now." She hurriedly directed the conversation back to Allie. "And you?"

"Oh, I work with Sam," she said, gesturing to him with a small smile. He was wearing a novelty apron that said KISS THE CHEF and wielding a pair of barbecue tongs at Charlie like a fencing sabre. "I know it might seem hard to believe right now, but he really does work at NASA."

Mary Anne smiled at her. "That's really cool," she said, feeling more and more uncool by the minute.

"En garde!" Sam barked. "Choose your weapon!"

Charlie sipped his beer before he picked up a squeeze bottle of ketchup and twisted the nozzle open. "I'll kick your ass."

Allie tipped her head back and rolled her eyes at Mary Anne. "Boys."

"Yeah," Mary Anne said with a small laugh.

"Hey, Al?"

"Yes, Sam?" She eyed him warily.

"If I die in battle, avenge my —" He jumped as Charlie shot a stream of ketchup at him and hit him in the chest.

"Dead," Charlie said.

"You, sir, fight with no honor."

Charlie grinned at him and turned back to the grill. "That's why I lived."

Sam lunged at him with the tongs and Charlie laughed and ran, skirting around the table to put himself behind Allie and Mary Anne.

Sam threw his hands up in exasperation. "And then you use the girls as human shields? What the hell, man?"

"No honor," Charlie reminded him with a grin. "I don't really expect any loyalty from Allie, though."

She laughed. "Nor should you."

"How about you?" Charlie asked, leaning against the back of Mary Anne's chair. His fingers brushed her shoulder. "Friend or foe?"

"Is that something you can really ask a human shield?" Mary Anne asked, tipping her head back to look at him.

Sam pointed at her. "Exactly," he said. "You can't ask for an ally when she's under duress." He waved the tongs at Charlie. "Get over here and fight like a man."

Charlie's breath was warm against Mary Anne's ear. "Too late to gain my honor back, you think?" he asked.

She grinned. "No honor without glory."

His hand squeezed her shoulder gently. "A callous thing to say to a man in battle," he said, and then he ran at Sam, squirting ketchup so it sprayed up against his neck and hair.

"Fuck!" Sam yelled. He laughed and chased after Charlie, and they both disappeared around the side of the house.

Kristy clattered a handful of cutlery down on the table. "You're gonna burn the burgers!" she hollered after them.

* * *

 

"Oh, Mary Anne, don't worry about this," Elizabeth said, waving her out of the kitchen. "I have more than enough helpers."

Mary Anne, too full and sleepy to argue much about the desire to help with the piles of dirty dishes, obeyed. She returned to the back porch, sinking into a seat at the end of the empty table.

"Hey," Charlie said, stirring from his seat in the shadows.

She jumped. "I didn't see you there."

"Sorry." He grinned at her. "Didn't mean to hide." He moved to the seat beside her, glancing through the glass door into the house. "Operation dishwasher in full swing, I guess?"

"I think your mom has it under control," Mary Anne said, following his gaze. "Kristy's organizing everyone else to watch a movie."

"It'll take an hour or so for everyone to reach an agreement on that," he mused, stretching his legs out in front of him.

Mary Anne hugged her knees. "I never asked how the Great Ketchup War ended," she said.

He laughed. "Poorly," he said. "Nobody came out of it with dignity, and it sparked a ketchup shortage. There was a lot of unnecessary suffering."

"That's what happens when you fight a war with no honor, I guess."

He grinned at her and sipped his beer. "So," he said, "before I committed that terrible crime, you know, with the human shield thing…"

She laughed.

"You were talking to Allie about work, I think?" He smiled at her.

Mary Anne nodded. "I'm not liking it very much," she admitted. "I'm thinking about going back to college. I think I'd like to teach, maybe?" She changed the subject, more comfortable when the focus was on someone else. "Are you still producing?"

"TV, now," Charlie said. "Nothing exciting, I just work for a news station in Boston. I'd like to get back to something a bit more creative eventually, but this is okay for now."

"I really liked the film classes I took in college," Mary Anne said hesitantly. "I mean, I mostly did literature, and a couple of classes on philosophy because I thought that would be — maybe — downtime? Not quite so much work? But the film classes were always really fun. And interesting."

"What films did you study?"

"Oh, my favorite class was about early 20th century film?" Mary Anne cleared her throat. For some reason everything she was saying sounded like a question. "It was mostly about all that glitz and glamour Hollywood was putting out after the war. And I loved the earlier stuff too, the silent movies, like Louise Brooks and Buster Keaton." She gave a sudden shiver and rubbed her bare arms; the temperature had dropped and she had left her sweater inside.

"Here," Charlie said immediately, pulling his off. "It's cold out here."

"Oh, I can get mine…" Her protest trailed off as Charlie's sweatshirt fell over her head. It was warm from his body heat, and she could smell soap and shaving cream.

She blinked up at him and he smiled, his hands trailing along her arms to smooth the sleeves down to her wrists.

"Thanks," she whispered, and she knew she was blushing.

"Sure," he said softly. He leaned back, but kept one hand wrapped around the arm of Mary Anne's chair, tethering them together. "Sorry, you were talking about — um — Buster Keaton."

"Oh, right." She smiled back. "Um, silent films — we watched Steamboat Bill Jr. and — have you seen that one?"

"Yeah." He grinned. "Sam loves that one too. Have you seen The General? That was the first one of his I saw, and I was hooked. All those stunts, you know? Watson loves that too, you know, that sense of humor. Sometimes he laughs so hard I'm worried he'll give himself another heart attack. He likes all the stuff behind the scenes, too, like me. Sam likes watching the slapstick stuff but he doesn't like having the magic of it all ruined. He likes the illusion, but I like knowing the practice behind it."

"I like knowing what happens behind the scenes too," she said. "My boyfriend…" She trailed off. He was her ex-boyfriend now, but she couldn't bring herself to say it. "Um… He'd want to know everything about a movie before he watched it. He'd spoil the ending for himself. I couldn't stand it."

Charlie smiled. "Yeah, I wouldn't like that either." He flexed his fingers around the arm of her chair, his thumb rubbing at the grain in the wood. "Kristy said you were going through a bad breakup."

"Sort of," she said hesitantly. She wasn't sure why she hadn't just said yes. There was no going back, no saving it. It was over.

"Sorry," he said. "I mean, you don't have to talk about it."

"No, it's okay," she said. "It was Kristy's idea for me to come here. She thought it would be a nice distraction."

Charlie laughed. "She threw you in the deep end, huh."

She smiled back at him, and looked out at the dark surface of the lake. "No, I don't think so. Keeping busy helps. If she hadn't invited me, I think I'd be finding things a lot harder."

"You sure about that?"

She laughed. "Very sure. I love being here with you guys."

When she looked at him again she could see he was pleased; he got the same warm light in his eyes and the same funny crookedness to his smile that Kristy got whenever someone offered her unexpected praise. And, like Kristy, Charlie took any compliment or kind word about the Thomas-Brewers to heart, like a personal victory.

She hesitated before she spoke again. "Kristy said you've been through a bad breakup too."

"Oh, yeah…" He frowned out at the lake. "That was last year."

"I don't want to pry or anything," Mary Anne said, suddenly overwhelming anxious. "I mean, talking about it can hurt, and it's okay if you don't want to."

"No, it's okay," he said, though he sounded hesitant. "She, um… It just dragged out, I guess. It was my fault. I didn't want to end it." He cleared his throat softly. "She loved me and I just… I didn't love her back, I guess, and I couldn't figure out why, and I thought something must be wrong with me… I didn't want to leave her when she still loved me. She got really — really manipulative, trying to get me to stay."

"That must have been hard," Mary Anne said softly.

"She kept asking me not to leave, and… and I didn't want to be the kind of guy who walks out on someone who…" He trailed off.

"You're not that kind of guy," Mary Anne reassured him. "You talked to her, right?"

"Oh, yeah," he said, nodding. He cleared his throat again and looked over at her with half a smile. "It sucked."

She smiled back at him.

"So," he said with a sigh. "I'm sorry you're going through a hard time." He held his hand out to her. "We both deserve better than what we got. Right?"

She slipped her hand into his. "I think so."

"No, definitely," he argued, squeezing her hand. "What happened?"

"He cheated on me."

"What?" Charlie asked incredulously.

"I caught him." She blinked back tears and looked out at the lake. There was a sudden ache in her throat.

Charlie's thumb rubbed over the back of her hand. "What an asshole," he said. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," she said.

He shook his head. "No, that's…" He looked at her, and his expression softened. "Sorry," he said. "That sucks. Don't, um… Don't lose any sleep over him. He's…" He trailed off, and his thumb stilled against her skin.

She gazed back at him, her heart racing. His skin was warm against hers, and she could smell his deodorant on the sweatshirt she was wearing. Her stomach was suddenly full of butterflies.

Charlie leaned over and spoke quietly. "Do you want Sam and I to go and squirt ketchup on him?"

She blinked, and started laughing. "Maybe?" she said. "I hadn't thought about revenge."

"Well, say the word," he said with a grin. "And David Michael can be surprisingly ferocious too. I think we could get him on board. He'd at least offer to be the getaway driver."

She laughed and shook her head. "No," she said. "No, it's okay."

He laughed and turned his attention back to the lake, though he didn't drop her hand. "Okay," he said. "Just thought I'd offer."

"No, I appreciate it," she promised him.

"Hey lovebirds," Karen called from the door. "The movie's about to start, and Sam's hogging the popcorn. You'd better hurry up."

Charlie tugged Mary Anne gently to her feet before he dropped her hand. "I'm gonna expect a full film analysis in the morning," he said.

She smiled and shook her head. "Don't hold your breath. I'm on vacation."

* * *

 

The house was quiet and dark. Mary Anne was almost asleep when Kristy spoke up drowsily. "What were you and Charlie talking about earlier?"

"Movies, mostly," Mary Anne answered.

"Oh." She sounded disappointed. "I thought you were sharing stories about your breakups."

Mary Anne turned her head with a grin. "Is this you being snoopy?"

"Yup," she answered, no shadow of guilt in her voice. But she grinned back at Mary Anne. "You talk like your dad. 'Snoopy.'" She gave a delighted laugh and rolled over to face her properly.

"What would you do if you had it confirmed?" Mary Anne asked. "There's nothing you can do."

"I know," Kristy sighed. "It's just harder for me to forgive people for things like that, I guess. Harder for me than it is for you or Charlie. I don't think anyone who cheats or hurts people like that should be given second chances."

"I'm not giving him a second chance," Mary Anne reminded her gently. "Just because I'm not angry doesn't mean I'm full of forgiveness, you know."

Kristy laughed and rubbed a hand over her eyes tiredly. "Okay. I know." She blinked at Mary Anne and gave her a small smile. "I just want the best for everyone, I guess." She closed her eyes and nestled into her pillow. "Night, Mary Anne."

"Goodnight." Mary Anne gazed up at the ceiling, feeling wide awake. She could still see Charlie's profile, outlined by the porch light and the starlit sky, and it was hard to forget the secure warmth of his hand enclosing hers.

She drew a deep breath and expelled it silently.

* * *

 

"How's the water?" Kristy asked.

"His lips are blue," Watson said with a grin.

"It's freezing," Charlie confirmed, pulling the sliding door closed again. "Mom was right, it was a stupid idea." He wrapped his towel around his shoulders and disappeared into the kitchen.

"Mom was right," Elizabeth said quietly, not looking up from her book. "Well, well."

"You should chase that with more enthusiasm, Edie," Karen said sleepily. She was stretched out on the couch, her legs propped over the arm. She yawned. "I need a nap. Vacationing is exhausting."

"You've had so much coffee you've become immune to it," Kristy said in disgust.

"Let me take that," Mary Anne said, reaching for the empty mug Karen had precariously balanced on her stomach.

"I can put it away," Karen said, looking guilty.

Mary Anne took her mug with a smile and headed for the kitchen.

Charlie was standing in front of the refrigerator, his towel bunched around his neck. Mary Anne watched a bead of lake water run down his back, and for a moment it overlapped with memories of showering with Brendan, the warm water spraying over them as his hands chased soap suds on her skin.

"Hey," Charlie said. "Who won the Scrabble tournament?"

"Your mom," Mary Anne answered, sure her face was suddenly tomato red thanks to the images in her mind. She sat Karen's mug in the dishwasher. "Apparently she's undefeated."

"I thought you'd be in with a shot," Charlie said with a grin.

"I came second."

"Ah." He shivered. "I gotta go take a shower before I freeze to death." He stepped around her cautiously, one cool hand touching her arm just under the sleeve of her t-shirt, as though to keep her gently in one place so they wouldn't collide. She kept her eyes on the droplets still caught in his hair, trying to ignore all his bare skin.

"Have they decided on a movie for tonight yet?" he asked. "See what you can do to plant the idea of Buster Keaton in Watson's head."

She smiled up at him. "No promises."

"You can do it!" he said encouragingly, headed for the stairs. "Second in Scrabble, the world's your oyster…"

She laughed, and he grinned at her before he disappeared out of sight.

Mary Anne lingered for a moment, lake water still on the floorboards where Charlie had been standing, careful footsteps treading so close to her in the wide space of the kitchen.

* * *

 

Sam dropped another armload of firewood into the low flames, sending a bright scattering of sparks up into the sky.

"Watch it," Karen complained, drawing her legs away from the fire.

"Sorry, your highness," he said. "This lowly servant didn't meant to startle you as he slaved to keep your little toesies warm."

"It's 'majesty' when you're addressing a queen," she said. "Get it right."

Sam snorted and sank back into his place beside Allie. She leaned against his arm with a happy sigh.

Mary Anne watched them across the warm glow of the fire. Sam's expression softened and he smiled as he dipped his brow down to Allie's. He pressed a kiss to her nose and her cheek, and he murmured something soft in her ear. She nodded, and he kissed the top of her head and wrapped his arms around her.

Mary Anne stared at the fire, suddenly aching for something she no longer had. She glanced over at Charlie, who was in mid-argument with Kristy about something related to Fantasy Football. She watched him gesturing as he spoke, the firelight catching against his spread fingers and the stubble on his jaw, and she remembered how it felt to have someone reach for her hand.

 _It's okay to miss him_ , she thought to herself. _He was your boyfriend for almost a year, and maybe none of it was ever honest, but it's still okay to miss him._

She glanced at Charlie again, listening to him laugh and tease Kristy. She drew a breath and focused her attention on the crumbling coals in the fire in front of her.

_It is not okay to rebound with Charlie Thomas._

* * *

 

Two days of rain had everybody on edge with cabin fever.

"I swear to God, if Sam and Allie don't quit it with the public displays of affection, I'm going to kill someone," Kristy said, her eyes looking glassy.

"I think it's kind of sweet," Mary Anne said. "They're in that honeymoon stage."

"They've been together for two years," Kristy said, holding up two fingers to emphasize her point. "The honeymoon stage should be well and truly over."

"Some people actually have romantic feelings sometimes," Karen said, overhearing Kristy as she bounced into the kitchen.

"Well they don't need to force it on everyone else," Kristy grumbled, pulling the refrigerator open. "All this hand holding and cheek kissing is gross." She swung the refrigerator closed again without taking anything out. "Please tell me the rain is meant to stop tomorrow."

"It's meant to be sunny tomorrow," Karen assured her. "Do you still want to go hiking?"

"Yeah," Kristy said happily. She tugged at Mary Anne's sleeve and led the way back into the living room, where everyone was slumped around the TV or over board games. "I won't drag you along," she promised.

Mary Anne shrugged and smiled. "Even I'm sick of Scrabble at this point."

"Trivial Pursuit!" Elizabeth announced.

Kristy's hand shot into the air. "I'm on Andrew's team!"

"No way, you can't have Andrew _and_ Mary Anne," Charlie said, folding his arms.

Mary Anne smiled, her cheeks glowing. She sank into the chair beside him.

Kristy stuck her tongue out. "Bad luck, Chuck."

Without looking up from the card game they were playing by the window, Sam and David Michael musically echoed her in well-practiced chorus. "Bad luck _Chuuuuuck_!"

Charlie tried to mask his grin with a look of weary exasperation.

"I want the pink piece!" Karen exclaimed. "Em and I are one team and we're going to whip you all on the pop culture questions."

"I only want the sports questions," Kristy said, dropping the yellow piece into the middle of the board. "You can handle the literature and the history questions, Mary Anne, and Andrew can take anything anyone throws at him."

"Except sports," he muttered, sitting next to Kristy.

Charlie raised his eyebrows at Mary Anne and wrapped his fingers around the arm of her chair. "History _and_ literature, hey?" He pulled her chair across the floor it was arm-to-arm with his, and she laughed.

"Fine," Kristy huffed. She gestured at Andrew. "Let's kick their asses."

* * *

 

Mary Anne was curled up on the end of the couch, her page tilted towards the lamp as she wrote.

"I'm going to bed," Kristy yawned. "You coming?"

"Two seconds," Mary Anne promised, not looking up. She scrawled the rest of her sentence, read over the page she'd written, and closed her journal. She blinked when she looked up; the room had emptied.

Charlie was sitting at the other end of the couch, watching her with a small smile.

"Sorry," she blurted, suddenly mortified as she remembered he was sleeping on the couch due to a shortage of beds. "Am I keeping you up?"

"No," he said with a laugh. "What are you writing?" He stretched across the couch to lean towards her, bracing himself on one elbow.

Mary Anne angled her journal towards him, the fire catching the gilded letters on the leather. "My journal," she said. "I blame Kristy for keeping me in the habit, honestly. You know, the um, the Baby-sitters Club notebook, and needing a record of everything just in case you need it later."

"Yeah, Kristy likes records."

"She does," Mary Anne agreed with a smile.

"I hope you documented our Trivial Pursuit achievement," he said, raising his eyebrows. "Coming second to Andrew is practically like coming first."

"Oh, it's — it's in there," she assured him, patting the cover again.

He grinned. "Good. We make a good team."

"We do," she agreed. She twirled her pen in her fingers. The television was off and the room was silent except for the patter of rain outside and the gentle cracking of the fire. They were both in t-shirts and pajama pants — Charlie's red and gray, Mary Anne's blue and white. She had an old U4ME t-shirt on and she suddenly felt young and embarrassed.

"I think we were saved by your expert knowledge of astrology," he continued. He sat up, taking up the cushion beside her.

"Hardly expert," she said, but she smiled. "But one of my classes was like — it included pseudosciences?" She was doing it again — everything suddenly sounded like a question, like she was unsure of herself, or needing his approval before she could continue. She frowned down at the floor. "And a lot of the articles I have to write — I mean, they're not articles. They're just fluff. They're in those stupid women's magazines that always have quizzes or personality questions in them. You know, astrology, numerology, palmistry…"

"Palmistry? Like, reading hands?" He held his hand up in front of his face to look at the lines on his palm.

"Yes, exactly."

"So can you read my future? When should I buy a lottery ticket?"

"Your dad's a millionaire," she pointed out, and he laughed. "Anyway," she added, "it doesn't tell your future, it's supposed to be all about your past and present. Past lives, and things that have, you know, changed your life."

"Ah." He looked down at his palm again and held it towards her. "Go ahead."

She hesitated, remembering the last time she'd held his hand, and the confusing affection she'd been feeling for him since. "I didn't say I could do it."

"What, you're not even going to humor me?" he asked. "Or is this your way of angling for a fee?"

She laughed and put her journal aside. "Fine. But what if you don't like what you hear?" She sat back on her heels and took his hand with both her own. His skin was warm. "It's too dark to see."

"That sounds like an excuse."

She smiled and tipped his hand towards the light of the fire. "I can't remember. There are different hands, you know, according to shape? Earth and Air and Fire and Water, and it depends on the shape of your palm and your fingers. I think mine is Water."

"What's mine?"

"I can't remember which element corresponds to which shape." She glanced at him apologetically.

"You're terrible at this."

"I know."

He gave a quiet laugh and rested his head back against the couch, half turned towards her, the weight of his hand still in hers. Her bare feet were tucked up under her; he had to look up at her to meet her eyes.

"This is the lifeline, though," she said, tracing her thumb over the line on his palm. "I always thought it was this one."

"Yeah, me too." He frowned. "My lifeline looks short. Should I be worried?"

"Um, maybe?" She laughed. Her heart was thudding hard in her chest as she ran her fingers over the calluses on his hand. Kristy had the same ones, though she didn't say that to Charlie. "You've got calluses from baseball," she said.

"Yeah," he said, his voice touched with mild surprise, as though he was just noticing. "I didn't think I really played enough for that to happen. I played basketball in school, but then I stopped growing, so baseball took over I guess. We Thomases are cursed with short statures."

"You seem pretty tall to me."

He grinned, and shrugged one shoulder. "I'm taller than Sam. That's all that matters."

She smiled, and ran her fingers over the rough spots on his skin again. "I've got one from pen holding." She brushed the side of her middle finger against his. "Right there."

"Oh my god." He ran his thumb over the small lump on the side of Mary Anne's finger. "That's the nerdiest thing I've ever heard. Your pen gave you a growth."

"It's not a growth!" she said, her voice caught somewhere between horror and hysterical laughter.

He laughed too, and his fingers slipped between Mary Anne's, flexing gently until they were holding hands properly.

"Can I ask you a question?" he asked suddenly. His voice was quiet, and his thumb stroked the outside of her finger, slowly back and forth.

Her heart fluttered. "Sure."

"I mean, I know you just broke up with your boyfriend," he said. He took a breath and hesitated. "I don't want to…" He looked at her helplessly. "Intrude," he said finally.

"No…" Her mouth was dry.

"But, um…" He blinked at her for a moment and then broke eye contact. "I mean, it's just been a really long time since I saw you, and…" He looked down at her hand and unlaced his fingers from hers, turning her hand and deliberately drawing his thumb across the inside of her wrist. She felt the sensation shoot through every nerve. "I've really liked spending time with you," he said finally.

"Me too. With you, I mean…" She trailed off.

Charlie's fingers traced slow circles over her wrist and the heel of her hand. "I'd really hate to go that long without seeing you again."

She nodded wordlessly. She was sure she'd turned red again; her heart was traitorously loud and she felt shaky and electric, like nothing within her was aligned the way it was supposed to be.

"So maybe, one day, I dunno… We could see each other… without the rest of the zoo around…" he gestured to the stairs with his free hand.

She gave a breathless laugh and glanced back, but they were alone. "I'd like that."

"Okay." He smiled at her.

"Okay," she agreed softly.

He was still smiling. "Okay," he said again. "Great."

* * *

 

"Oh my god, it doesn't count if you keep knocking your bread off on purpose," Kristy said, rolling her eyes at Sam. "Give it a rest so Allie can eat something." She speared another piece of bread and dipped it into the fondue pot.

"Agreed," Watson said. "Allie, feel free to withhold the kisses from now on."

"Or you could trade places with me," Elizabeth said with a grin.

"Come on, Mom, like that'd stop me." Sam leaned across Allie to plant a kiss on Elizabeth's cheek with a loud _"Mwah!"_

"Why'd I get the fork with the broken prong?" Kristy asked. "At least give it to—" she broke off to bump another irritated kiss to Charlie's cheek "— Sam so he has a genuine excuse for his cheating."

"Hey, pass it over," Sam said, reaching for it.

Charlie speared another piece of bread, and Mary Anne watched out of the corner of her eye, her heart fluttering in her chest. He hadn't lost anything to the fondue pot yet, and she was ready to admit to herself she was disappointed. He was to her left, if his bread fell off his fork he had to kiss her.

(She had already kissed Sam twice, self-conscious and pink in the face, and he'd beamed and winked at her both times.)

It had taken her hours to fall asleep after she'd left Charlie by the fire the previous night. She'd stared up at the ceiling, listening to Kristy's breathing and wondering whether or not she'd completely lost her mind.

It was exhilarating, she had decided, to have someone like Charlie Thomas hold her hand and trace gentle patterns on her skin.

"We're almost out of bread," Emily Michelle complained.

"That's because Sam keeps sending it all to the bottom of the cheese," Allie said, nudging him. "Dig around in there and you'll find a whole baguette, Em."

Mary Anne watched Allie lean forward with a cube of bread on her fork, feeling slightly envious of the way she had inserted herself so easily and comfortably into the family Mary Anne had known her entire life. She wondered exactly what Charlie had meant when he'd said he'd like to see her alone, and whether or not it would lead to her sitting with the Thomas-Brewers again at some point in the future, Charlie pretending to lose the bread off his fondue fork just so he could kiss her.

* * *

 

"So are tonight's journal entries full of cheesy kisses with Sam?" Charlie asked with a drowsy grin, nudging Mary Anne with his foot from where he was stretched out on the couch.

Mary Anne glanced at the stairs to make sure they were definitely alone before she closed her journal. "Not full," she said. "But they got a mention."

He laughed and folded one arm behind his head, watching her. "You know, I was trying really hard to keep my bread on my fork."

She looked back at him anxiously, her heart beating with terrible weight.

"Not because I didn't want to kiss you," he clarified quietly. "Because I want to kiss you properly."

She gave a breathless laugh, not sure how else to react, and Charlie sat up.

"If anything went wrong here," he said, "it'd be harder. With you, I mean."

She nodded. "I know," she whispered.

"I wouldn't ever want to be in a situation where I couldn't talk to you, or be in the same room as you."

"I wouldn't want that either."

"Kristy would kill me."

"Probably," Mary Anne agreed hesitantly.

"So, um…" He frowned. "Will it be okay, do you think?"

"Well…" She looked into the fire, watching the sparks dance up into the darkness of the chimney. "If it went right, it'd be… I mean…" She frowned. "Dawn told me once that most of the people you date are the wrong people. I mean, one person to spend most of your life with — you want to be sure about it, right? You're probably not going to get it right the first time."

There was a cautious tone in his voice as he agreed. "Right."

"But if you want to find that right person, you have to kind of, you know, jump in with both feet. Accept that you'll get it wrong most of the time, but to get it right — you can't really try to be safe about it. Sometimes you have to take a risk. And some things are worth a really big risk."

He smiled. "Did Dawn take that pseudoscience class too?"

"Well, not officially," Mary Anne whispered.

He laughed. His fingertips moved over the inside of her arm, and he leaned forward, careful and slow, until she came to meet him, lips brushing lightly, his hand warm against her cheek.

He was hesitant, his gaze lowered. "Okay?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

She nodded and leaned forward again. His palm cupped her cheek and drew her closer, and she felt the giddy thrill of being _desired_. She leaned in, sliding one hand up over his shoulder to the back of his neck, her heart thundering in her chest as she parted her mouth against his. When she opened her eyes she could see the blur of his dark lashes and the glow of the fire.

Somewhere deep in the back of her mind, Mary Anne knew she should go upstairs before Kristy came looking for her, but the physical sensation of someone kissing her — hands stroking her through her t-shirt, soft breath on her cheek — it was too addictive to stop. Brendan's recent rejection suddenly felt like nothing, erased by the warmth of Charlie's affection.

He broke the kiss gently and tilted his head, his nose brushing against hers before he kissed her again, his hands sliding down over her t-shirt and stopping at her hips, pulling her closer.

When she wove her fingers into his hair he made a soft happy noise against her mouth, something that sent a warm curl of pleasure deep through every nerve in her body. She smiled and leaned forward, pushing him back against the pillows piled at the end of the couch. He shifted underneath her, legs twining with hers to pin her in place, pulling her against him.

The little voice at the back of Mary Anne's head spoke up again, reminding her that Kristy's patience would soon run out. She broke away reluctantly. "I should go to bed," she whispered.

"Okay," he agreed with a sigh. He kissed her again, his hands tracing the band of bare skin revealed where her t-shirt had ridden up. "Will you go to dinner with me?" he asked.

She laughed, feeling flustered. "When?"

He grinned. "When are you free?" He arched a little into the pillows beneath him, drawing attention to the way they were so entwined.

"Um…" She drew a shaky breath, trying to get her racing heart under control.

Charlie's fingers lingered at the small of her back, curling slowly against her skin. "You don't have to," he said hesitantly. "I mean, if you need more time, or… or you don't want to."

"No, I want to," she assured him. "But…" she hesitated. "I mean, I just broke up with someone…"

"I know," he said. "You can take your time to think about it. It's okay."

She closed her eyes and rested her brow against his. "Some risks are worth taking," she reminded him.

He gave a quiet laugh and kissed her again.

* * *

 

The lamp was still on, and Kristy was staring up at the ceiling when Mary Anne slid into bed. "You're still awake?"

"You were taking your time, so I went back for you," Kristy said. She frowned. "I wish I hadn't. I saw way too much."

Mary Anne sat up in alarm. "Oh my gosh."

"Yeah," Kristy groaned.

"I'm so sorry, I —"

"Don't," Kristy said, waving Mary Anne's apology away. "I would've figured it out anyway. Like, it all makes perfect sense now."

"What do you mean?"

"Like how he always manages to take the chair next to you, or keep an empty seat beside him so you can sit there? Or that move he pulled with his sweatshirt, which was almost as sickening as catching Allie wearing one of Sam's t-shirts."

Mary Anne's face was burning. "Sorry," she whispered.

Kristy laughed. "Don't be. It was him acting all lovesick, not you." She pinned Mary Anne with a stern gaze. "It's not a rebound, is it?"

Mary Anne hesitated. "I don't know," she admitted. "We're not — I said I needed some time."

Kristy traced her finger over the pattern on the bedsheets and didn't say anything.

"Are you okay?" Mary Anne asked nervously.

"Yeah," Kristy said. She frowned, tracing the pattern over and over. "You can't mess this up," she said. "I mean, either of you. It can't… Caroline was bad enough, you know? If you broke each other's hearts, I wouldn't be able to…"

"There's nothing…" Mary Anne trailed off. "I mean, we're going to go slow. Dinner when he's in New York next month. To talk. And figure it out. And if it won't work, it won't work."

"You can't ever break up with him," Kristy warned. "It'd — if you got together, you'd have to get married."

"Kristy," Mary Anne said, letting a nervous giggle escape. "We're not doing anything yet. Dinner in a few weeks. Just dinner. And we'll talk then and figure it out."

"But you like him? I didn't know you liked him."

"I don't know," Mary Anne said uncomfortably. "I need to think about it."

Kristy looked at her, quiet and serious. "He likes you," she said. "I can tell."

Mary Anne broke eye contact to stare up at the ceiling. She felt flustered and hot. "I like him," she admitted quietly, "but I want to be sure about it. Things with Brendan are still clouding my judgment, I guess."

Kristy nodded. "Okay. Taking your time is a good idea, I guess." She sighed and wriggled down into her pillow.

Mary Anne did the same before she took a few deep breaths, letting the silence settle. "So," she whispered hesitantly, "you're okay with it?"

"Mm-hm," Kristy answered. Her eyes were closed, but Mary Anne didn't think for a moment she was as close to sleep as she wanted her to believe.

"You'd tell me if you're not okay with it. Wouldn't you?"

"Of course I would," Kristy said, sounding surprised. "I'm always honest with you."

"Okay, good. I mean, I know you are. I guess I forgot who I was talking to for a moment."

"You will never, ever give me gross details on anything, ever."

"Absolutely not."

"Okay. Good."

Mary Anne expelled a quiet breath and stared up at the ceiling. Her nerves were taut; her fists clenched into the sheets.

"Relax," Kristy said, slinging an arm over her stomach. "I promise I'm not mad."

"Okay," Mary Anne said, trying to even her breathing out. She felt close to tears; everything had become too much, suddenly. "Because you know, if you were, I wouldn't…"

"I know." Kristy nestled closer to her and hugged her tightly. "Goodnight, Mary Anne."

"Goodnight." She closed her eyes, willing sleep to come. She listened to the rain falling on the roof, Kristy's breathing evening out beside her, warm against her shoulder.

"Hey," Kristy said a few minutes later, her voice drowsy.

"Mm?"

"Just so you know," she murmured, "I really hope it does work out. I've already got names picked out for your kids."

 

* * *

 


End file.
